DHARMA Etiquette

Shoes—leave all shoes in the area near the door or outside the shrine area; never enter the shrine area with shoes on.

Greetings—place your palms together in front of your heart and bow slightly as a proper gesture of either greeting or farewell to a teacher or a monk. It is not mandatory, but very respectful and polite to do so.

Teacher’s entrance—stand and bow slightly when the Lama enters the room.  Remain standing while s/he prostrates to the Buddhas and his/her own Teachers (visualized on the throne) and takes his/her seat.

If late—if you must enter the shrine room after meditation or teaching has begun, do so as quickly and as quietly as possible, so as not to disturb others.

Appropriate dress—wearing revealing clothing, such as tank tops, short skirts, shorts, and the like is considered inappropriate attire in temple and shrine room settings. Within Buddhism, appropriate attire is usually flexible and based on the polite and inoffensive social customs of each country.

Legs outstretched—it is considered impolite and disrespectful when seated on the floor or on a cushion to stretch the legs out and face the soles of the feet toward the shrine or teacher. Please honor your teacher and shrine room by sitting as comfortably as you can without pointing your feet frontwards.

Prostrations—you may notice some people doing three prostrations (either low bows or stretching out on the floor) when entering or leaving a shrine room or when a teacher arrives or leaves. This is extremely respectful, and a personal gesture of special respect when done by a practitioner. Anyone may do this if they wish, but it is certainly not required. After the Lama is seated, practicing Buddhists will perform three formal prostrations as a sign of respect to the Lama and teachings. Others may join in or stand quietly. For those wishing to participate, the form is: with palms together touch crown of head, forehead, throat, and heart; kneel on hands and knees, touching forehead to ground very briefly and rising quickly. Perform the entire act three times altogether. At the conclusion, once more touch hands to crown, forehead, throat, and heart, pausing briefly at the end for contemplation. Then take your seat.

Dharma materials—because books on Buddhism contain scriptures considered sacred, one should never place them on the floor or rug. This is true for Dharma books, meditation texts, notes on the teachings, or prayer beads (malas). You may want to use a small table, shelf, pillow, handbag, or special cushion. Also, do not step over Dharma books and articles.

Stepping over—when moving through a crowded shrine room, make every effort not to step over the top of another person’s body (e.g., leg or foot) or dharma items. When seated, if others are passing by, raise the knees to afford a pathway so they are not forced to step over you in any way. Stepping over is considered disrespectful and rude.

Turning pages—when turning the pages of Dharma books or meditation texts, please do not wet the fingers with the tongue.

Mala beads—do not place malas on the ground, the floor, or on a bed. During teachings and initiations, do not recite mantras or count beads unless told to do so as part of the teaching or initiation. Malas should not be worn when using the bathroom.

Indicating (pointing)—when pointing to a teacher, monastic, or painting (thangka), indicate with the hand open and fingers extended and palm up, rather than pointing with the index finger, which is considered very rude.

Incense—when lighting incense, after the stick has ignited with a glowing ember, do not blow the flame out with the breath, but rather wave with the hand to extinguish. The same is true when blowing out candles and butter lamps: do not blow them out with the breath, but rather use a candle snuffer or wave gently with the hand.

Offerings—having placed offerings such as fruit or cookies on a shrine, it is appropriate when replacing them with newer offerings to give the first offerings away to others, rather than eating them oneself.

Teacher’s exit—as the Teacher stands to leave, stand and bow slightly, until s/he is out of the room.  Some students will again perform three prostrations, except at the last teaching session, where the omission conveys our wish for the Teacher to return.

Addressing the Teacher or other monastic—if the individual is a Rinpoche (a term of respect for incarnate lamas), he would be addressed as “Rinpoche.” When referring to him, he would be called “Thrangu Rinpoche” (if his name was Thrangu).When “Tulku” appears in a name, it is also referring to an incarnate lama, but is not used in addressing him. If the individual has a Geshe degree, it is proper to address him as “Geshe-la.” The “la” at the end is an honorific. If the individual is a Venerable--that is, he or she has taken vows as a monk or nun--one may address him or her by name, with an honorific. For example, if his name was Ven. Tenzin Deshek, you would address him as Deshek-la.

When interacting with any monk or nun, it is appropriate to treat them with great respect. They have gone through many years of training, and should be accorded treatment as if they were the emanation of a Buddha.